Back by popular demand! Gentlemen, at your request we are bringing back the article that you helped me to write in 2010. Thank you again for your efforts, Patrice Tankard.
We will be surveying the input and insights of gentlemen for Part II soon!
This article was written with the help, participation and input from males on Face Book (www.facebook.com) and from males who live in different locations of the world globally in 2010, and referenced through “Notes of Inspiration” from the Desk of Patrice Tankard www.notesofinspiration.com. Thank you for your insight on this topic.
What is it that men look for in their soul mates or wives? What does a man need from a woman in terms of a relationship and the existence of a successful union between the two of them? “Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) This scripture in the word of God suggests a complete union of husband and wife and that they shall become one flesh in the process. However, while becoming one flesh, does that mean that the woman automatically knows what the man needs? What does a man need from his female soul mate in reference to his own existence while being one with her? The men who participated in this examination have a voice and have spoken from their hearts and souls on this exciting and exhilaration exploration and stream of consciousness of what they need and expect from their soul mates.
At the top of the list was the need for women to be understanding to their men. Several of my participants made it clear that a man needs for the woman to have flexibility in daily situations of life. That flexibility makes it easier for men to function in whatever role that is in demand at the time. Along with understanding comes the need for respect. A man wants his woman to respect him for who he is. Some gentlemen emphasized that women who respect their men initiated positive foundation ground work for a more loving relationship in the days ahead. When a man feels respected he has the confidence to continually be who he is and his leadership skills are more enhanced. Many times women do not realize that they have a certain power with men. Being very understanding and respectful to the male soul mate can go a long way in the relationship later on down the road. Some gentlemen said that if their women provide wonderful and sweet respect, the women could get basically anything they wanted out of the men.
Love is a very important and needed aspect of the relationships discussed here. Several gentlemen have found that it is imperative that their soul mates love them deeply. The general consensus is that a man wants intimate love with his wife spiritually, mentally and physically. One gentleman expressed that he loves his wife and wants her love and he wants it intensely, frequently and deeply. He expressed the need to be with her mentally, spiritually and physically. It is understood by these gentlemen that it is their desire to feel loved and have their needs and desires accommodated by their wives. Some gentlemen, at the risk of sounding chauvenistic expressed they needed a wife’s support and presence on a consistent basis even in the home. Even though many women have careers and work outside of the home, some men do not mind it as long as the woman also takes care of the needs inside the home as well as the personal needs of the husband. However, this can initiate heated discussions because many women feel that the men should also share in chores, cooking and meeting the domestic needs of the home. Some men feel that they cannot discuss this issue with their working wives too much. After a few debates about equality and sharing the load of taking care of the home, many men give up discussing it, and unfortunately the whole issue of what the husband is needing from the wife gets “lost in the shuffle”.
One husband in particular has said these things to his wife concerning what he is looking for, “he said that it was important that his wife trust him and support his vision. He wanted her to understand and appreciate his committment to their relationship. This husband said it was important that his wife understood his need to be “in her world” on a consistent basis. The inimacy that they share ”in her world” is not considered just an act of love alone. It is an oasis, a place of refuge, safety, acceptance, renewal, reviving, pleasure, closeness, sensuality and intensive and deep euphoria.
My father and mother were in ministry together for many years. They were married for over forty years and it was exciting to watch them work together in the game of life. My parents told me that they were married for seven years before having any children. During those seven years my mother learned a lot about my father and what he looked for and desired from her. My dad told me that he was quite satisfied with my mother when he married her. However, he was able to put the “icing on the cake” so to speak, when it came down to things like personal preferences. Since my mother loved my dad so much, she was more than willing to do everything to please him. When I was growing up, I remember things that I saw in their relationship that caught my attention and it still has an affect on me today. Even though my mother was 5′ 10″ in statue and my dad was about 4′ 10″, she had such a soft and feminine way of dealing with him. Somehow she managed to say the right things, gently gesture in just the right way, spoke softly and firmly with her voice in a way that melted the heart of my dad into soft butter and the end result was that he walked around with his chest out, his head held high and feeling like a king. Before dad would come home from work, mom would remind us to keep our voices down and to try not to disturb dad when he was unwinding from a long day. When dad came home, we all greeted him with hugs and kisses. Soon after that my mother would do things like run his bath water, bring him his slippers and sometimes prepare to give him a pedicure. This is the atmosphere that I grew up in. This is what I was used to seeing on a daily basis. My dad “scored many points” with my mom because he took the time to nourish my mom’s emotional needs. He realized that women sometimes have a deep need to be reassured and comforted in times of emotional turmoil. Somehow my dad kept my mom very happy attending to her in the areas of spiritual renewal, physical appreciation, being an outstanding provider and father and providing her with emotional nurturing.
We will continue to explore the mind and hearts of what is that men want. More to come.