Recently, I was approached yet again by a man who almost demanded to be in a relationship with me and tried to create reasons why he feels that I am not a happy woman being single. In the past few years I have been plagued with the approaches of men who claim to be interested in me. I am a single, hardworking woman and very happy with my life. You would be surprised at the conversations that I’ve had with these gentlemen with some of the conversations ending in debates. Somehow and somewhere there seems to be a misconception about single women who are happy. Many of these gentlemen did not believe that I was a happy woman being single. I found it unsettling that I felt the need to prove my point to them. Refusing to become exhausted in trying to explain myself, I usually moved on and talked about something else. But what stands out to me is that some of these men continued to try to refute my truth and at the same time they tried to try to “sell” me the idea that I needed them. It took a lot to keep from laughing but I do beg to differ. After listening to their points of views, I noticed two common denominators in these particular gentlemen. They felt the need to control me because of their low esteem and they were looking for someone to take care of them financially. Of course, not all men do this but these guys did. I cannot tell you how offended this made me. There are too many cases just like this that have hit close to home through friends and family. This is familiar to me more than it looks like.
A man should take the responsibility to be a man in every area of his life, or at least work on the areas before approaching a woman that he is interested in. A woman should also work on every area of her life as well. However, it is disrespectful for a man to manipulate a woman by trying to control her mind, body and situations while at the same time expecting the woman to take care of him financially. These are the types of men who have flocked to my presence lately. I absolutely refuse to take care of a grown man. I realize that some women do that and I am not judging them. These women may have their reasons and that’s fine. But I do not want to ever be a part of that. I’ve had to work hard for everything I wanted in life. I watched my dad and my brother work hard for what they wanted in life. Sometimes life throws us a curve and things may not always work out, but a man should do his best to follow up on being a provider and not expect a woman to do it for him. I don’t have a problem with men who are trying to find that provider experience. I have a problem with the men who approach me to be in a relationship and who feels entitled to my financial blessings, while refusing to create their own. I’m a Tankard woman and I live by Tankard woman rules. One of them is this: “Do not take care of a grown man, and especially one who feels entitled to your hard earned wealth while refusing to create his own.”
Disclaimer: I write to inspire and encourage others. Nothing I share is ever meant to hurt anyone. I become transparent in order to help others and to promote growth in all of us. Everything I write comes from a place of love in my heart. Much love always, Patrice Tankard, Global Executive Writer, Notes of Inspiration, www.notesofinspiration.com