NOTES OF INSPIRATION

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31: 10-11

I cannot count the numerous times that I have heard single women speak of their need to be married.  Sitting in on conversations in women groups and sessions that involve women issues has taught me a lot. It has given me a chance to think and evaluate the concept of women who really want a husband. However, at the same time, I know a lot of single women who may not quite fit the description of the woman in this scripture. Some of them are not virtuous and many of them could not be trusted with the heart of their husband if they had one, yet and still they crave the right to be called “wife”.  It begs the question of how some men struggle with finding the right kind of woman for a wife. Who can find a virtuous woman? It leaves me to believe that finding a virtuous woman is a monumental task and women of that caliber are probably scarce.  Women should ask themselves if they are virtuous and examine to see if they are ready to take on the “ministry” of being  good wife, because that is exactly what it is, a ministry.  Men are looking for someone to trust and share their heart to.  A virtuous woman is chaste and morally excellent. A man craves and desires to trust a woman to love, cherish and nurture. He wants to trust that she will bring him no harm or shame and that she will love him and celebrate him intensely.  He wants to deeply love her and know that she loves him and is loyal to him always. A man needs a lot of attention and desires to be the “rock of a woman’s world.”  Women who want to be married should understand that being virtuous is strong standing and it is the driving force along with the help of God to a foundation of success in this type of relationship. Ladies, be encouraged today to examine yourselves and prepare for such a wonderful institution. If you are a woman and you are already married, continue on and encourage other women to be morally excellent. Women of this character are magnificent jewels, and that is why  good men are looking for them. Are you a jewel?

It is so important in this life to spend time with those who you love. While you can please take time out to tell them just how much you love them. It’s even better when you show them just how much you love them and care. That is my focus now more than ever. When you find someone who appreciates, celebrates and cherish you, that is priceless. Today I will stop taking life for granted and from this day forward I will spend time with those who I love and show them just how much I love them. I am needed. So are you.  Spend the time.

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27, 28

The easiest thing for me to do while I was growing up was to be nice to someone who did not like me. I was the “happy-go-lucky” kid who would skip around and say hello to everyone I would run into. I loved everybody. I did not have any enemies that I knew about. It was easy to find something good in everyone. My happiness annoyed some people and they would say things like, “Patrice! Settle down! Why are you so happy all of the time? Why are jumping up and down? Get somewhere and sit down!” Instead of my feelings being hurt, I would joyfully find a seat while staring at them with a big grin. Then I would yell out, “Love you!”

However, after I became a woman, this skill was harder to master. There were times when I found myself not loving people. It was because they did terrible things to me. It was hard to love someone who disrespected my  marriage to my husband, which in turn disrespected my family. Then there were the “gossipers” to contend with. I found myself feeling the need to fight my own battles. I didn’t like the person that I had become. People’s negative actions were affecting me.  It was difficult to bless someone who had cursed me. It was even more difficult to do good to those who mistreated me.

I had to pray and pray hard! There was no way that I was going let this mess my life up. That little girl that I was years ago loved everyone in spite of. Finding a way back to that mindset took a lot of work. My heart needed a renewal and so did my mind. God did do it though. But I had to allow him to do it. Loving enemies is a skill and takes practice. “Pray and work at it daily” is my personal motto for this situation. It is easier now for me to love my enemies and the greatest joy that I get is to see the look on their faces when I love on them. It takes the wind right out of their sails to know that they can’t get to me anymore. That is a good feeling to me. As a woman I can still stare at my enemies with that same big and wide  grin and say, “Love you!”

Do you have anyone in your life who provides you with loyalty? Does that person also love you? If that is the case, then you are blessed beyond measure. There are some things that are more important than even having riches. I have found that life is not always easy and I am grateful for God’s love and protection in sustaining me. However, it certainly is wonderful to have someone here on earth that is “in my corner” as well.  There are days when I just need to listen to good advice, great counsel, and magnificent wisdom. On that same note, I also need to be able to confide and share my feelings with that person who I know that I can trust and who will keep my concerns confidential. If you have that kind of person in your life, you are doing better than most. I am grateful today to have this priceless gift in my life. I am eternally grateful for love and loyalty.

“If  you have someone who loves you and who is also loyal to you, then you are doing better than most.” ~Patrice Tankard

Back by popular demand! Gentlemen, at your request we are bringing back the article that you helped me to write in 2010. Thank you again for your efforts,  Patrice Tankard.

We will be surveying the input and insights of  gentlemen for Part II soon!

This article was written with the help, participation and input from  males on Face Book (www.facebook.com) and  from males who live in different locations of the world globally in 2010, and referenced  through “Notes of Inspiration” from the Desk of Patrice Tankard www.notesofinspiration.com.  Thank you for your insight on this topic.

What is it that men look  for in their soul mates or wives? What does a man need from a woman in terms of a relationship and the existence of a successful union between the two of them?  “Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) This scripture in the word of God suggests a complete union of husband and wife and that they shall become one flesh in the process. However, while becoming one flesh, does that mean that the woman automatically knows what the man needs? What does a man need from his female soul mate in reference to his own existence while being one with her? The men who participated in this examination have a voice and have spoken from their hearts and souls on this exciting and exhilaration exploration and stream of consciousness of what they need and expect from their soul mates.

At the top of the list was the need for women to be understanding to their men. Several of my participants made it clear that a man needs for the woman to have flexibility in daily situations of life.  That flexibility makes it easier for men to function in whatever role that is in demand at the time. Along with understanding comes the need for respect. A man wants his woman to respect him for who he is. Some gentlemen emphasized that women who respect their men initiated positive foundation ground work for a more loving relationship in the days ahead. When a man feels respected he has the confidence to continually be who he is and his leadership skills are more enhanced. Many times women do not realize that they have a certain power with men. Being very understanding and respectful to the male soul mate can go a long way in the relationship later on down the road. Some gentlemen said that if their women provide wonderful and sweet respect, the women could get basically anything they wanted out of the men.

Love is a very important and needed aspect of the relationships discussed here. Several gentlemen have found that it is imperative that their soul mates love them deeply. The general consensus is that a man wants intimate love with his wife spiritually, mentally and physically. One gentleman expressed that he loves his wife and wants her love and he wants it intensely, frequently and deeply. He expressed the need to be with her mentally, spiritually and physically. It is understood by these gentlemen that it is their desire to feel loved and have their needs and desires accommodated by their wives. Some gentlemen, at the risk of sounding chauvenistic expressed they needed a wife’s support and presence on a consistent basis even in the home. Even though many women have careers and work outside of the home, some men do not mind it as long as the woman also takes care of the needs inside the home as well as the personal needs of the husband. However, this can initiate heated discussions because many women feel that the men should also share in chores, cooking and meeting the domestic needs of the home. Some men feel that they cannot discuss this issue with their working wives too much. After a few debates about equality and sharing the load of taking care of the home, many men give up discussing it, and unfortunately the whole issue of what the husband is needing from the wife gets “lost in the shuffle”.

One husband in particular has said these things to his wife concerning what he is looking for, “he said that it was important that his wife trust him and support his vision. He wanted her to understand and appreciate his committment to their relationship. This husband said it was important that his wife understood his need to be “in her world” on a consistent basis. The inimacy that they share ”in her world”  is not considered just an act of love alone. It is an oasis, a place of refuge, safety, acceptance, renewal, reviving, pleasure, closeness, sensuality and intensive and deep euphoria.

My Background

My father and mother were in ministry together for many years. They were married for over forty years and it was exciting to watch them work together in the game of life. My parents told me that they were married for seven years before having any children. During those seven years my mother learned a lot about my father and what he looked for and desired from her. My dad told me that he was quite satisfied with my mother when he married her. However, he was able to put the “icing on the cake” so to speak, when it came down to things like personal preferences. Since my mother loved my dad so much, she was more than willing to do everything to please him. When I was growing up, I remember things that I saw in their relationship that caught my attention and it still has an affect on me today. Even though my mother was 5′ 10″ in statue and my dad was about 4′ 10″, she had such a soft and feminine way of dealing with him. Somehow she managed to say the right things, gently gesture in just the right way, spoke softly and firmly with her voice in a way that melted the heart of my dad  into soft butter and the end result was that he walked around with his chest out, his head held high and feeling like a king. Before dad would come home from work, mom would remind us to keep our voices down and to try not to disturb dad when he was unwinding from a long day. When dad came home, we all greeted him with hugs and kisses. Soon after that my mother would do things like run his bath water, bring him his slippers and sometimes prepare to give him a pedicure. This is the atmosphere that I grew up in. This is what I was  used to seeing on a daily basis. My dad “scored many points” with my mom because he took the time to nourish my mom’s emotional needs. He realized that women sometimes have a deep need to be reassured and comforted in times of emotional turmoil. Somehow my dad kept my mom very happy attending to her in the areas of spiritual renewal, physical appreciation, being an outstanding provider and father and providing her with emotional nurturing.

We will continue to explore the mind and hearts of what is that men want. More to come.

 Patrice Tankard

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!”

It is so wonderful to know that the Lord thinks about us and that we are constantly on his mind. What a wonderful God to care so much about us, to attend to our affairs, to fight our battles,  to heal and deliver us, to feed and shelter us, to bless us and most of all he loves us. Take comfort today and know that you are not forgotten. You are on the mind of the Lord. I am so happy to know that he thinks about me and cares deeply for me.  Being on someone’s mind is not to be taken lightly. It is such an honor. People contact me all of the time to tell me that I am constantly on their minds and to remind me of the impact and influence that I have had on their lives. This makes me so happy and gives me so much joy. It is such a good feeling to know that you are being thought about. The Lord has us on his mind. I am on his mind and so are you!

“The blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.” Proverbs 10:22

Be encouraged today and know that when God gets ready to really bless you over and above the blessings that are already in place, and those blessings include wealth and prosperity, he will not add trouble to it. If you have this type of “over-and- above”  blessing upon your life, please remember that God adds no trouble to it, so make sure that you do not either. Many times we add trouble to our own blessings by making the wrong decisions. Sometimes we may not walk in the wisdom that is set before us to enjoy these types of blessings. But know that the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and he adds no trouble. My prayer for my life is to make the right decisions with the awesome blessings that have over taken my life. My prayer for you is the same. Be blessed!

Ladies, this note is for those of you who may hesitate to start again after getting out of a relationship.

It’s a great day to give God praise and embrace the joy that he can bring. Someone approached me the other day and inquired about my life and wanted to know my feelings about this chapter in my life. He was concerned about my broken heart in getting out of my past relationship. I expressed that I felt that this is a new season in my life and that I feel so free because I do realize that I live hard and I love hard. There are no regrets in regards to how I have deeply loved and cared for the one who was the king of my life. Most people interpret my meekness as weakness, but nothing could be farther from the truth. My natural personality is to give you all that I have, my soul and my heart and with the deepest love. But if you do not appreciate me, if you take me for granted, if you walk in unfaithfulness toward me, I will gracefully bow out with no hard feelings and I will do it with kindness and a smile. My friends have found this to be true and they are always watching and checking to see if things are alright between them and me because they know that my beautiful smile can either mean that they are “in” or that they are “out”. They know that I am meek and humble but I am serious about loving others and I am serious about how I am treated.

I walked away from a relationship in which I deeply loved and was faithful, submissive, accommodating, intensely passionate and it was done at a level that you will not find anywhere. But the one thing that I will not stand for is being mistreated, disrespected, manipulated, controlled and cheated on. That is where I draw the line. Once I have touched you and loved you, it will be difficult for you to ever find a deep, passionate and overwhelming addictive love like that ever again.  So, I am forced to move on and I will. But what makes me happy is that I am not bitter. I will love again and I will love harder, longer, deeper and more intensely. I believe in marriage and I believe in love and I embrace them whole-heartedly.  Ladies, never give up on love. You deserve to be treated like queens and you deserve faithfulness from your husband. That is what I require and I will not give up on that. I have a lot to offer. A man approached me a couple of months ago and said, “Wow! you are so beautiful, Patrice. You are the epitome of a real woman. You look like the type of woman that doesn’t need a man, but the type of woman that a man needs!” I will never forget that moment. It is priceless and I treasure it. And the same goes to you ladies as well. Know your worth and keep your head up and keep it moving. You deserve the best. Walk in that concept. I am excited about my new chapter. I have a lot of love to give and will not hold back any love from that man who I will be with for the rest of my life. I will love him deeply into eternity.

I believe in love and will love him deeply into eternity.

Patrice

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth” 3 John 1:2

Ladies,this is for you. Be sure to take time out to take good care of your health even as your soul prospers in the Lord. Two weeks ago I had a Mammogram screening.  Three years ago I had the same screenings and the physicians kept asking me to come back every six months because there was something showing up on the x-rays inside of my left breast. One part of the tissue was a different color than the rest of the tissue inside of my breast. I kept telling them that it was a color and shade issue.  They didn’t believe me at first. After doing many tests they concluded that it was just a discoloration that was not consistent with same shade as the other tissue. The tests two weeks ago proved the same.  So the report is good and it means that my magnificent, vuluptous “Girls” are beautiful and healthy as ever. I have also had the other femine exams and am blessed to be in exhuberant and exhilarating good health. Take time out to get your annual exams for mammograms, pap smears, blood pressure, cholesterol and all other health screenings. Being healthy is the “New Sexy”, ladies. We have to keep our souls, minds, and especially our bodies healthy because we have people in our lives who loves us and desperately needs us.

I’m blessed to have passed the Mammogram test. Healthy is the new sexy.

This is Patrice Tankard and “I write about Life”.