Archive for the ‘“Girl Talk” – Articles about Women and Relationships’ Category
Today’s segment involves the importance of friendships. My sister-in-law, Jewel Tankard had a terrific idea to address topics that concerns us as women and relationships. Take a look at her idea. This is a great idea and and great way for ladies to come together and talk about our friendships. Thanks, Jewel!
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22
This scripture should bring clarity just in case if there is any question to what is involved in the role of being a wife. A wife should pay attention to all of the “particulars” in her relationship with her husband and she should make sure that she is honoring and submitting to her own husband at all times. She should put him first after God and be careful of the temptations that may come to submit to a man who is not her husband. There are many situations that can arise that seem presumingly innocent, however, there had to be a reason why this scripture was created in the first place. Women are nurturing beings by nature and most enjoy serving others. However, a married woman needs to be careful in becoming compelled, impressed, excited, overly helpful or indulgent, appeasing, or conceding to another man over her husband. Wives, please be encouraged to love, serve and obey your own husband. It is a blessing to serve in such a wonderful capacity. Submitting to your husband exuberantly initiates a commanding influence in being blessed and rewarded. Your submission is powerful.
Ladies, you have asked my opinions and what it is that I look for in a gentleman. You already have an idea of my views from previous articles. I always have hope in love and I am a hopeless romantic. My life is extremely exciting in this chapter in it. Be encouraged today and never give up on love. If you don’t already have the right man in your life, all is not lost. Take it from me. Real love is worth the wait. You may have to go through a few terrible relationships before the right one happens. But when the right relationship happens you will know it and feel it. Live your life and never give up on love. When you are blessed with ”that awesome gentleman” in your life who loves you, who absorbs you and his soul and life renders the words of this song, then you are blessed without measure. It feels great to have this type of love, devotion, dedication and committment. Watch this Video by Kem. These are the words that we wait for. I enjoy these words finally and I am emersed and totally consumed. Spectacular!
Women must remember that we carry the most sought-after “treasure” in the universe. We should carry ourselves with dignity, respect and sophistication at all times. We should continue to guard our treasure and not allow others to manipulate our minds into tricking us into giving up our treasure because of their lust, frivolous needs, urges, control issues or any other self serving reason. We decide when we are to share ourselves with that special person and hopefully that it is at an appointed time through the wonderful institution of marriage. Whether we realize it or not we have the power to control that aspect of our personal relationships and we can dictate high levels of respect that are due us if we carry ourselves in a chaste and sophisticated manner.
Do not allow your treasure to be continuously ”found” by others only to be degraded and cheapened. You are worth far more than the cost of a few drinks, a dinner, a paid hotel room, a get-a-way, a vacation, jewelry, clothing, your bills being paid and anything that is used to gain access and control of your treasure and your emotions. Ladies, it is more than worth the discipline to live in a manner that reverences your priceless treasure and to respect the power that comes with it. Be encouraged and know that it may not always be easy but it is possible. I live this life everyday. Keep your emotions in check and do not succumb to the temptations that can cause you to do something that you may regret later. Ladies, know that your value is priceless!
Ladies, this year I would like to explore the concerns that you struggle with on a daily basis. Thank you to those of you who have contacted me about previous written articles to say how they have helped you. Thank you also to the gentlemen who support the “Girl Talk” Page on this site. We are here to serve you and we want to address what is most important to you. Gentlemen, thank you for your contact as well, because you have daughters, nieces, sisters, mothers and others who you love who face issues everyday that need to be addressed. Perhaps you are in a relationship and would like better insight into enlightening revelation knowledge of your life. Please feel free to use this forum and platform for knowledge, comfort, insight, healing and growth. Gentlemen, and especially Ladies, please email me at email@example.com or call me directly at 386-383-8536 to let me know how I can better serve you in what to write about this year. God bless you and keep you is my prayer.
Back by popular demand for the ladies. (Written November 18, 2011)
To all of the women who are single or who or are almost single, and who ended up single not by her choice, this is for you. Being a single woman can be a challenging time but it can also be very exciting. Personally, I enjoy being married. I love submitting to a man, loving on him day and night, listening to him, helping him to fulfill his dreams, nurturing him, preparing meals and serving them to him, drawing his bubble baths, bringing him his bedroom slippers, praying with him, attending events with him, making him a proud wife, being beautiful to and for him and the list goes on and on. But if things do not work out that way, one must make adjustments to life. I am forced to make these adjustments. I do not choose to be single again.
Ladies, be encouraged today to take life as it comes and do the very best that you can everyday. Pray and ask the Lord to heal you of all of your hurts so that you will not take that baggage to the gentleman that you are really supposed to be with. Take time to heal. I am speaking to the ladies who have been in relationships and did not choose to be single again. This is definitely my category. However, I choose to look at the bright side of my life. I learned so many lessons from this experience. I thank God for getting me through it. The things that were done to me were devastating and damaging emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially. However, all is forgiven and I am embracing the grace of God.
The excitement that I think of and that you should think of too is the fact that life gets better from here forward. With God’s help, you can do anything you set your mind to and your future has no limits. You are free to meet and talk to whomever you want to and enjoy your life. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Keep working on your wonderful quality traits. Keep looking beautiful. I have decided to step up my game as well. I do put in about four days a week in the gym for weight training. I love the way it makes me feel. I eat right, (I’m a vegetarian) and I try to take good care of my body. My soul is taken care of through praying and reading God’s word. I’m meeting new people everyday and I am exploring new opportunities for business and upcoming projects.
I am not worried about whether or not I will be married again. I can be if I choose to. But that is not my focus. My focus is on serving God and being happy. I was approached the other day and someone said this to me, “You look like the type of woman that doesn’t need a man, but the type of woman that a man needs” I was speechless. But it did make me think. It made me realize that I am the awesome woman that my mother raised me to be. I followed the rules. I obey God and I obeyed my husband. I loved with all of my heart, mind and soul. However, I realized that I cannot blame myself for someone else’s issues, baggage, discontentment, low self-esteem, and inabiltiy to have a long term relationship. I am not angry but saddened because the situation was not respectful or suiting to my life. Ladies, do not sell yourself short. Do not settle for less. You deserve the best and you deserve a man that will respect you, love you, cherish you, honor you, and treat you like a Queen at all times. I am so very excited about the next phase of my life. This past experience has encouraged me to encourage others. If you survive and wake up and find that you are alive and still have your sanity, get out of situations that will demean, degrade or disrespect you, Run and run like there’s no tomorrow! Be encouraged to go forward with excitement. The best is yet to come! ~Patrice Tankard
If you have ever been hurt in relationships it will make you think twice before entering into another relationship. However, never give up on love. But make sure that the previous chapter in your life is totally closed before moving on to another.
For example, in my case, I was in a relationship with someone who I was deeply in love with. However, it did not work out, so I am forced to move on and I am happy to. I will not bring baggage from my preivious relationship to the relationship that I am in now. It is not fair to do that. Ladies, if you are a good woman and you know how to treat a man, you will have no problem getting into a relationship. I am confident to understand that I love deeply, I love to nurture and spoil others, I enjoy accommodating a loving man, I love listening and comforting him, cooking, and being domestic when I need to be. I cannot let the devastation that I experienced in my previous relationship scar the deep love that I deserve in my relationship now or in the future.
One day I woke up and realized that my life is just beginning and that not all men are liars and cheaters. Not all men are unfaithful. This is the reason why we as women should not give up hope. Previously, I had vowed to myself that I would never date again, fall in love again or marry again, and it was all based on the fact that I was severely mistreated, abused, cheated on, lied to and totally disrespected. I am so glad that I woke up and “smelled the coffee”. Why should I refrain from living a life of happiness and love? I shouldn’t! And you shouldn’t either. I am enjoying my life like never before and I’m glad I stepped out to try again and to love again! It is so much better than any other experience ever!
Ladies, take your previous devastation in your relationships and learn from them. I am so glad that I went through what I did. It was horrific and even life threatening. But one thing is for sure, I am more appreciative of my new love and relationship. You can have the same wonderful experience. I have learned to move on and love again. I will never vow to refrain from love again. I am so glad that I came to my senses and experienced euphoric happiness without measure. Ladies, move on and love again and again! ~Patrice Tankard
“Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.” Romans 13;10
Be careful of people who say that they love you but show you otherwise. I have certainly learned a lot about love and I am happy with what I have learned. I am speaking to the ladies today who have been in relationships that did not workout when they tried their best. I can only speak for myself in this. After finally marrying the man that I had been deeply in love with since I was a teenager, it was my utmost dream come true to be with him. ”Laying it on really thick” was an understatement when it came to how I treated him. I went overboard to prove my love. It was easy to totally submit to him in true love, it was a pleasure to provide unlimited nurturing and personal care, “unlimited married time”, prepared every meal and served him(mostly in the Master Suite), listened to him, prayed with him, traveled with him, and many other things that my mother taught me in how to treat and love a husband. He said that he deeply loved me too and I enjoyed our time together and appreciated his efforts to make me happy. He didn’t have to do anything special. I was just happy being with him, in his space, and in his life. It delighted me that he told me everyday that he loved me. But after a year, suddenly it all went wrong when several “truths” that he should have told me before he married me came to “light”. Our relationship went downhill after that and he was able to exhibit more behaviors now that I knew the truth. Unfortunately, situations, his behaviors, and the “others” interfered with the “love” he claimed to have for me. Eventually things became worse and I was forced to end the relationship because of the need for safety for my life and the protection of my family.
The things that I saw and experienced after the relationship started unraveling were not things that showed love. It taught me that people can tell you everyday of your life that they love you. But you have to look past what they say and watch the motives of the heart and the deeds that they do in front of you AND behind your back. Love does no harm to others. That means that being dishonest is not love. Dishonesty brings harm. The dishonesty of my partner brought harm to me, my career, my family and my life. That is not love. However, I am thankful to God for learning such a valuable lesson. It has catapulted me into a new level of understanding and success. There were great devastations in the relationship but I still love him and totally forgive him. But one thing is sure, I will never make that mistake again.
Ladies, remember that love does not harm others. If you love people you should not harm them with your words, your actions, your thoughts and you should be truthful. But remember that when others say they love you, they should not harm you in any way. Ladies, be strong and continue to love and allow others to love you, but allow them to love you truthfully.
There is no bitterness in my heart toward the one who stole my heart. My prayer is that he is healed in all areas of his life and that I am healed from the experience and that my broken heart is repaired. Moving on takes one day at a time and with the strength of the Lord I am able. I do not regret marrying the love of my life, I do regret that it did not work out. One thing is for sure, since I have always wanted him and loved him, I will leave this earth happy and with peace because I know that I did everything in my power to love him and stay with him. I have always wondered what it would be like to be with him and now I know. He is not the right man for me, but I will still always love him until the end of time. There is no bitterness in my heart. There is still true love, but I cannot force something that was not meant to be. Ladies, allow yourselves to heal and walk it through day by day. Always love others no matter what and when you have been done wrong, forgive and do not allow bitterness into your heart. Move forward in your life and try again. Go forward with no bitterness, but with love only!
As women, we sometimes spend a lot of time caring for others. Whether we are caring for our parents, children, friends, neighbors or others, we can sometimes become lost. It is easy to get caught up into what others need and become overly concerned about life in general. But I want to encourage you today to take time out for yourself in a guilt-free manner. Be true to who you are and to who you are becoming as you improve your life. I have come to the place where I am extremely happy and comfortable with who I am. I am a loving and caring individual who enjoys nurturing others. However, it is time for me to invest more time into Patrice Tankard, the entrepreneur, the designer, the musician, the songwriter, the educator, the writer and the over all sophisticated and sensual woman. Think about all of the roles that you play in your life and take time to invest in yourself even more. It is worth the effort and you will feel happier doing so. Don’t ever let anyone use you or mistreat you. You are valuable and your worth is priceless. I am very happy with my life, my family, and my close friends. But most of all I am happy being me.
Be true to yourself always.